Be brave.....

Today is my 43rd birthday!  I remember when 30 sounded old!  I also remember when I was 15 and auditioned for "L'il Abner".  I had never sang outside of my shower, but I wanted the part of Daisy Mae so badly.  I practiced and practiced my song, I chose Amazing Grace, went to the audition and as soon as the music started I completely froze.  I couldn't do it.  My drama teacher kindly restarted the music several times, but it was already over for me.  I sat down with tears in my eyes and decided musical theater was not meant for me.  I poured my heart and injured soul into acting, the more dark the better!  Lady Macbeth was my new best friend.  

As the child of a song writer and musician I choose the acting path and avoided music like the bubonic plague.  Once in college I was in an Easter Cantata and had one solo line I managed to squeak out, that was good enough I told myself.  

Years went by and I felt haunted by my botched audition in high school and I regretted never singing with my daddy, yet now he had passed on and that chance was over.  One of our daughters showed a talent in voice at a very early age so I took that as my second chance, I  helped her in every way to never feel the insecurity I felt and give her opportunity to soar.  And soar she does!  

Yet, there was always that nagging part of me that wished I could beat that audition so many years ago .  I remember the room it took place in, the smell, and even what I was wearing that day.  

Lately, my husband and I have been talking about our dreams.  (It's never too late, you know.) I shared with him how I can't let it go, and he has been very supportive.  I joined the worship team in December 2014 at our church.  That was the first step.  God keeps telling me to stop comparing my voice to others and just use what He gave me, for Him.  So this year on my 43rd birthday I will be on stage singing with amazing actors in a beautiful musical about second chances and redemption.  I'm so thankful for the opportunity that God gives me to beat this area and continue to grow.  Tonight was opening night.  My very talented and musical daughter came with her friends to cheer me on and when she said, "Mom, I'm so proud of you!" I knew I finally did it!  I beat that botched audition,  I'm not cursed to live a life devoid of music, but God can rewrite our story whenever we are ready to trust him....even if it's our on 43rd birthday! 

Psalm 37:4, 

4 Delight yourself also in the Lord,
And He shall give you the desires of your heart.