Waiting on The Lord

I was almost packed up for the hospital yesterday.  The surgical nurse called and reviewed my case, history and prep instructions.  I hung up the phone and went back to planning my last day before phase 2 of spinal fusion surgery.  Less than an hour later the phone rings again, this time from my surgeon's assistant who said, "Shelli, I am so sorry, but we have to postpone your surgery.  Dr. Dewald has two patients in the hospital who need emergency surgery."  I couldn't believe what I was hearing.  My mom flew in yesterday, I reminded her!  My husband has two jobs and has scheduled this time completely off, I complained.  My in laws are all gone to Europe next month, I need their help I gasped.  "We know and are very very sorry, but there is nothing we can do."  

I hung up the phone in disbelief.  It took me a few hours to absorb the change in plan.  I remembered Proverbs 3:5, "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;". I asked God to help me live this verse.  I was reminded that He guides and directs our path.  This dramatic change in events didn't surprise or shock God.  He knew it was coming.  

Once I stopped trying to figure it out or make sense of it, I felt my heart soften and I started feeling thankful that I wasn't the one who needed emergency surgery.  I started thinking about the families that needed my surgeon's expertise and how blessed they are to have him in an emergency.  I realized how selfish my initial gut reaction was and began to feel embarrassed at my reasoning.  I'm not the center of the universe after all!  

I learned yesterday that if I'm left to my own thinking I will become selfish, confused, disappointed and easily shaken.  If I choose to submit to His authority I will have a heart of praise, gratitude, kindness and peace when my world is turned upside down.  

So now I will sit here and wait on The Lord to give me a new date.  I will lean on Him and trust His plan.  I will bless Him and remember "ALL THINGS God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28