A "Simple" Call...

We had friends over for dinner last night. After pizza and cupcakes from the church bake sale today we all settled into the basement for some fun and slightly competitive time around the pool table. My closest girlfriend sat on the couch after beating me (barely...LOL) and we started chatting. I gave her an update and ran down the list of things we have been doing. We talked about the individual challenges we have been facing lately and I felt heavier and heavier with each thing I revealed. She looks me straight in the eyes and said...."So, what else is going on in the world of Shelli? I mean, it's you and that can't be all you are doing!"

She knows me so well. I am the Queen of Busyness. She went on to ask me about what Bible Study I was thinking of leading next, what family devotional I was writing, personal Bible study I was studying, what my ideas were for reaching the lost...women's ministry...she asked and asked! I felt a bit like I was going through a medieval gauntlet. I mean come on, I don't have the energy to do anything extra right now, but can barely keep my own head above the water. She challenged me! I know she didn't mean to, but none the less, she did. I woke up this morning and in my quiet time I asked the Lord, what is it YOU want me to do? I know I can't do it all.....(normally I think I can), but ya know right now, I just can't!

So here are my top things that I believe the Lord is calling me to focus on right now:

Personal prayer time (1 Chr 16:10-12)
Supporting my husband (Eph 5:22-23)
Family prayer and devotions (Deut 6:7)
Maintaining my home and kids' education (Deut 6)
Caring for my body (1 Cor 6:19-20)
Going to church (Heb 10:25)
Encouraging others along the way/witnessing (Heb 3:13)

But Lord, what about Women's Ministry Bible Study? You study....I teach you!
But Lord, what about small group? You have one....the Chinlund Family!
But Lord, what about accountability? Are you telling me that your kids let you get away with ANYTHING????
But Lord, what about serving? You are my hands and feet...follow me and we will serve constantly.
But Lord, what about people that need me to do things for them? No sweet child...they need ME, not you.

So I challenge you the way I have been challenged. (Remember misery loves company!!!! :) Seek the Lord and answer the call to simplify. If you feel like you have to much time on your hands fill it with a conversation to the Almighty. If we do a little house cleaning we will be able to figure out what we were REALLY supposed to be doing all along!

I ran across this passage this morning...look at 1 Cor 16:12, "Now about our brother Apollos; I strongly urge him to go you with the brothers. He was quite unwilling to go now, but he will go when he has the opportunity."

Here are a few things we can learn from this passage:
1. Apollos was not afraid to say no to Paul the apostle!
2. The Lord provides the opportunities and we are wise to follow Him!
3. Do not be captivity to activity!

The world calls us to busyness. The Lord calls us to simplify and focus on HIM! After this mental exercise this morning I feel balanced. It is true, if you follow Him, His yoke is easy and His burden is light! (Matthew 11:30)

Husbands are like a T-shirt....

Well, I woke up this morning with an overwhelming feeling....it was like..."Whew! I picked the right one!" I not talking about the right house, town, or car...but my husband! Michael has been God's greatest gift to me. I used to think it was the kids. It is hard to say that it is not the kids and I don't think I would even be offended if he said the kids were God's greatest gift to him.

We "celebrated" our 16th Wedding Anniversary on Friday. It was interesting! I met him at hockey practice with the boys and as I sat down to watch them when, the tears started to roll! I had been fighting the urge to cry all day and for some reason when Mike comes around I go "off duty" with the kids and allow myself to grieve our recent loss. So, I waved him down on the ice and in (really bad) sign language told him I would meet him at home. It was a long drive, but felt very healing. I sat in bumper to bumper traffic crying and praying, weeping and pouring my heart out to God. I knew that meant I was going to be basket case for dinner. When Mike came home he said, "Alright, let's go!" I looked up at him and said basically, "No way, you're crazy, I will cry through the entire dinner, I'm not even hungry now, and WHY would we pay big bucks for that?" He said, "Okay, I know it has been hard being married to me for 16 years, but you don't have to cry about it! Now let's go!"

We did go....I did cry through my appetizer, salad, and half of my chicken with artichokes and mushrooms over wild rice. We sat there in silence eating, holding hands under the table when Mike said with a smile, "Well, I don't think we will forget this dinner anytime soon!" And he is right....I won't.

When I met him I thought he was too good to be true. I was talking to one of my girlfriends about him and told them picking a husband was like a T-shirt. I was going to choose one that is a size bigger so that when the honeymoon phase is over and they will still fit! Mike was an XL at the time so I figured that if he stopped being as sweet and shrunk down to say a size L , he would still be pretty great. I could live with that! But mark my words, he hasn't shrunk...he has grown! Hopefully I have for him, too.

So this is the point....

-Life is hard.

-Marriage is a gift.

-Whoever you are with has been ordained or allowed by God. I know they are not perfect....neither are you! If you love and nurture your marriage when hard times and trials come you will make it. If you don't....then you turn on each other.

-If you aren't married yet, CHOOSE WISELY!!!!

-If you are married to the "wrong person", be sure the one who shrunk isn't you, then pray like mad!

-If you have never been called into a marriage, remember that you are the bride of Christ and YOU get the perfect husband for all eternity!

I have watched over the last 16 years our lives change. I look at photo albums and see how full it has been and remember with heavy heart the challenges we have faced. I also look at his t-shirts on the floor in a pile on his side of the bed and think.....Thank you Lord for giving me this man and please give us more time together.

"So....How are you DOING and How are you doing IT?"

I have it already highlighted in my Bible....Psalm 30. I have read it and read it, but the amazing thing about Scripture is how it can speak anew to you. Before we get to the How am I doing IT....let me catch you up on the How am I DOING....

It has been 2 weeks now since we lost our baby, Levi, in a miscarriage half way through the pregnancy. I have had ups and downs, probably more downs than ups if I am being honest. We have been blessed with meals, house cleaning, deck staining, flowers, cards, carpooling and prayers from family and friends, but the one thing no one can do for me is wade through the hormones! It can hit me at any given moment and sometimes with no warning. The kids have found me in the basement crying and sent Daddy down to get me. I was at the Doctor's office and saw a familiar nurse with tears in her eyes. She gave me a sweet hug and that was it.....crying the rest of the day! I have kept busy and tried to maintain a routine for stability for all of us. I am slowing recovering from the trauma of it all, day by day, but it still feels a bit like a dark cloud following me around, reminding me the baby is gone. I am thankful for the times when I can forget, if only for a moment, and feel "normal" for a change. Those breaks are my saving grace right now and I pray for more of them!

It isn't all sad though. We had a fun day yesterday at the corn maze. The kids had a ball. Literally, Briana and her friend Mackenzie climbed into a huge inflatable ball and rolled down a ramp like hamsters in a wheel! Then we had friends over for dinner with their 4 little ones. I LOVED cuddling with sweet baby Clementine! She is less wiggly than Shelby :) But there it was again, 3am couldn't sleep and the tears started flowing. Grieving is hard work. I finally climbed out of bed and checked my email this morning and Psalm 30 was waiting for me in my inbox. God's timing is impeccable. He knows just what I need....and when.

"....weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning." Psalm 30:5b

So, what do I have to rejoice about anyway? Well, plenty. As I sat there staring at that passage I took a mental inventory of what I have to be joyous about. My darling husband, the kids, our home, our family and friends, the cow in my freezer, coffee, you get the picture! So then I opened my Bible and read (carefully and slowly) all of Psalm 30. I stopped at the end at verses 11 and 12:

"You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever."

I love to write in my Bible and have my notes from past studies in the margins. This is one of the many places where I have a huge 'X'. I started marking this way whenever I find passages that describe when God does what I call a "flip flop". This 'X' is speaking of a reversal of wailing to dancing, mourning to joy, silence to praise, and weeping to rejoicing!

I know that my God is faithful. I can put my hope in Him to do this for me every time. I know that in time the dark cloud will lift and my heart will again dance. My trust and my hope is in Him, for He is trustworthy. I will continue to seek Him, grow deeper in His Word, and look for the glimpses of Him in my daily life. He will continue to show me reasons to be grateful and opportunities to share His love as He records each one of my tears (Psalm 56:8). He hears my cries and will answer with healing and the promise of a flip flop for my heart.

So, now we are off to a ballerina birthday party for Miabella. It will be Shelby's first big girl b-day party and I KNOW there will many reasons to smile and dance and enjoy.

That is how I am DOING and most certainly how I am doing IT.