Blood vs Water

I was checking out at Walgreens recently and the woman cashier started asking me about my cutie pie family,(there were only 3 of them with me that day). I mentioned Mariah was half of a set.  My attempt at humor made her pretty curious, so like so many complete strangers do, she started asking personal questions.

I'm no help in these situations, I love shock value.  Saying, "how many kids do you think I have?" is my set up.  She fell for it, "Haha, got her!" I thought.  Then the next routine question, "Are they all yours?"  

Of course!  (I didn't start collecting kids at a park or anything!  I held that comment in my head, biting my tongue hard.) 

"You gave birth to 7 kids?" She looked at me like I was a saint or super model or something.  (Not that a super model can't be a saint, too :). 

Honesty got the best of me, I knew I was being a stinker.  "Well, actually we adopted the twins at birth." I informed her. 

Here is where she zinged me, "Oh!  So, they AREN'T all yours!"

 Wait, what just happened here?   No she didn't!!!!!  This went from fun to OUCH!  I took a deep breath and bit my tongue so hard I thought it might fly across the room spraying blood across the counter!  God help me!

"No, no they are all mine," I managed to say smiling.  "Not really, because you adopted the last two" she said with complete innocent ignorance. 

Okay,  I had a choice in that moment, kill her with my words or educate her.  I chose to educate her.  I explained very nicely that they ARE all mine.  Their birth mom gave them birth, something I could never do,  but I get to raise them, something she was unable to do.  I explained that when they fall and get hurt, I hurt for them just as for my biological children.  I run to them just as fast when they fall.  I've caught their puke in my hair just as my bio kids when they got sick.  I protect them the best I can..... just as my "own".  I treat them the same.  I love them the same.  It may sound trite, but I do.

Blood means your biologically related.  It doesn't mean you love no matter what, that is a choice you make...or don't.   If blood was the only important factor, we wouldn't read about parents killing their biological children in the news.  If blood determined loving "real" family connection, brothers wouldn't fight, aunts and uncles wouldn't avoid each other at family gatherings, moms and daughters wouldn't go years without speaking, or fathers and sons either.  Unconditional love isn't a side effect of DNA, it's a choice made.....daily.

Several years ago in my personal prayer time I was asking God what his heart was on this topic.  After some silence went by I heard a simple question, "Do you consider your husband Mike family?" 

Yes, of course Lord!  Mike is my other half, my best friend, he is where our family begins. I'd give my life for him.  There is no human on this earth I love more!

"Well, you're not blood related." God whispered to my heart.

Thank you, God.  That's all I needed to hear!