Be brave.....

Today is my 43rd birthday!  I remember when 30 sounded old!  I also remember when I was 15 and auditioned for "L'il Abner".  I had never sang outside of my shower, but I wanted the part of Daisy Mae so badly.  I practiced and practiced my song, I chose Amazing Grace, went to the audition and as soon as the music started I completely froze.  I couldn't do it.  My drama teacher kindly restarted the music several times, but it was already over for me.  I sat down with tears in my eyes and decided musical theater was not meant for me.  I poured my heart and injured soul into acting, the more dark the better!  Lady Macbeth was my new best friend.  

As the child of a song writer and musician I choose the acting path and avoided music like the bubonic plague.  Once in college I was in an Easter Cantata and had one solo line I managed to squeak out, that was good enough I told myself.  

Years went by and I felt haunted by my botched audition in high school and I regretted never singing with my daddy, yet now he had passed on and that chance was over.  One of our daughters showed a talent in voice at a very early age so I took that as my second chance, I  helped her in every way to never feel the insecurity I felt and give her opportunity to soar.  And soar she does!  

Yet, there was always that nagging part of me that wished I could beat that audition so many years ago .  I remember the room it took place in, the smell, and even what I was wearing that day.  

Lately, my husband and I have been talking about our dreams.  (It's never too late, you know.) I shared with him how I can't let it go, and he has been very supportive.  I joined the worship team in December 2014 at our church.  That was the first step.  God keeps telling me to stop comparing my voice to others and just use what He gave me, for Him.  So this year on my 43rd birthday I will be on stage singing with amazing actors in a beautiful musical about second chances and redemption.  I'm so thankful for the opportunity that God gives me to beat this area and continue to grow.  Tonight was opening night.  My very talented and musical daughter came with her friends to cheer me on and when she said, "Mom, I'm so proud of you!" I knew I finally did it!  I beat that botched audition,  I'm not cursed to live a life devoid of music, but God can rewrite our story whenever we are ready to trust him....even if it's our on 43rd birthday! 

Psalm 37:4, 

4 Delight yourself also in the Lord,
And He shall give you the desires of your heart.

Trusting God in the Storm

I have a small child that is terrified of storms.  I mean terrified.  She get anxious whenever she hears there is rain in the forecast.  If there is a watch or warning for thunderstorms or tornados she starts crying almost instantly.  Now you must know this is my most spunky and strong willed child of the bunch.  She is not timid or afraid of anything else.  But storms, that brings her to tears.  

Yesterday we were driving to the airport to fly home after a weekend with Grammy and the radio broadcaster gave the forecast and it included scattered storms.  I changed the channel as quick as I could knowing this could cause anxiety for her.  I thought I avoided it expertly.  Thirty minutes later she announces," I don't see any clouds and the sun is out so it must be behind us, right mom?"  I reminded her that no matter what the sky looks like, God is always in control and we can trust Him.  She stared out the window quietly.  A few miles down the road the clouds began to appear, the rain drops started to fall.... She noticed the first drop.  She said, "I see a drop!  I hope they don't cancel our flight!"  

Haven't we all done this? We are happy and care free one moment then at the thought, just the thought of an upcoming storm we start with worry and anxiety.  We watch out the window for impending doom and then at the first drop of rain we cry the sky is falling?  I waited until we were under a very large grey cloud and told her this:

"Sweetie, true faith is knowing that as I'm driving through this storm cloud God has me in His hand.  He loves me, wants what's best for me and I can trust Him.  Real faith in God means I trust Him no matter what the sky looks like.  I don't need the sun to be shining to think it is going to be okay.  It's going to be okay, because I'm a child of God and He is in control."

It's a good reminder for us we turn on our TV or watch our Facebook feeds blow up with "storms"out there.  Have faith! Trust God no matter what the sky looks like!

Listening for Daddy

I was in the middle of cooking dinner last week and I noticed it got very quiet in the living room.  I turned around and saw our 4 yr old twins with their ears to the door listening for signs that daddy was home from work. I thought it was sweet so I snapped a picture and went on with dinner.  

A few days later I was scrolling through pictures on my phone and saw it and I instantly thought "Do we as children of God listen for our Heavenly Father with that much intention?"  I know there are times when I can say, Yes!  And then there are other times when I would also say, No!  Oh Lord let us be a people with ears to hear and a desire to listen!

15 "The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge, for the ears of the wise seek it out."  Proverbs 18:15