Selfishness stinks!

We love homeschooling the kids. It never ceases to amaze me to find teachable moments within moments of teaching. It truly does work best for our family.

Today we were working on our latest unit study on honeybees and my 7 year old decided he wanted to color the same picture my 5 year old was coloring. Unfortunately I couldn't run him a copy because she had already colored it and our book of original posters was at another family's house. I asked him if he could please just wait until we got the workbook back. He said, "No!" With crossed arms and gritted teeth.

This particular child is one of my gentlest and easiest so I didn't pay to much attention to his outburst and went on with the lesson. He continued to gripe and grunt so I stopped and repeated my explanation and request to just wait for the workbook for a copy. I could tell he wasn't going to cooperate so I offered a different picture as a trade off....still no! He did compromise by asking me to draw the picture for him by hand. I covered her picture with a blank sheet, placed it on a window and could see that I could trace it exactly and quickly. I did. When I finished and turned around he had taken an original poster of a different picture and had started coloring on it. I grabbed it away from him and sent him to his room.

I was so angry! Why did he do that? I stopped the lesson and left the room to pray. I asked God what about that made me so angry? He softly whispered into my spirit, 'It was selfish'. I knew that today's lesson on honeybees would have to wait. Today we learned about selfishness instead.

I brought the dear child out of his room and explained to him that selfishness is putting our SELF in front of everything else and it is a sin. It is like saying no to love and yes to envy, self interest and greed.

We took turns picking different family members names and thinking about how they would feel on different situations. We also talked about how to put others first. A big example the 5 year old came up with was letting someone else pick the TV show we are going to watch :)

We also talked about these two verses:

'An unfriendly person pursues selfish ends and against all sound judgment starts quarrels.' Proverbs 18:1

'Turn my heart toward your statutes
and not toward selfish gain.' Psalms 119:36

We ended by discussing Jesus and how he came to give us a perfect example of selflessness. I reminded them that we all need God's help to fight selfishness.

Without the awareness of our selfish hearts we sound a lot like the seagulls in Finding Nemo saying, "Mine....mine....mine!"

Help us Lord to put others first and not selfish gain.

The next season....

Here we are in the dead of winter and just around the corner is SPRING!!!  Please hurry, I cannot wait!  I am also on the verge of a new season of health as well. 

It all started a few years ago.  I visited my best friend in FL and she mentioned I was leaning forward when I stood or walked.  I went home and started looking a pictures and I saw it too.  Now that I was paying attention, I noticed that I couldn't do what I used to be able to do anymore.  My stamina was declining and I ended up having to sit on the couch by the end of the night with an ice pack or heating pad on my back and neck. 

I started researching for reasons, tried physical therapy (3 months each time with 2 different clinics), used all sorts of prescription pain relievers, exercised, wore braces, chiro care, hot tubbing it (my personal favorite :) and just about anything else we could think of to help bring relief, turn back the clock or gain strength. 

After a set of xrays last February, it was recommended I see a surgeon to repair my Harrington Rod placement that had failed from my original surgery in 1985.  I was sent to a reputable spine/neurosurgeon.  He gave me a grime prognosis without surgery and a risky surgical plan to correct it.  It was so risky in fact, that after gathering more information and while developing my surgical plan the surgeon changed his mind and cancelled the August surgery in July. 

I was back at square one.  I was very depressed and confused.  Now what???

Not too long after the surgery was off the table, my current physical therapist asked me to call the Orthopedic Brace specialist, Patrick Flanagan.  She thought he could help.  I did and he has helped me.  He even knew about my case before I ever walked in the door and was hoping I would come in to see him!  He has developed a bracing system that is in a clinical trial and is now using me as a test case.  I love my brace.  It doesn't reverse the clock, but it gives me the support and rest my muscles need to make it through my busy day.  I count him and his invention as a blessing on this journey.

Not long after I started working with the brace, a Chiropractor called me.  Dr. John Merkling had heard about my case through one of my close friends and wanted to help.  He has helped me more than I ever thought possible and I count him as another blessing in this journey.

Today I met with a new surgeon, Dr. Dewald at Rush University.  I was not sure what to expect after all we have been through, but was pleasantly surprised.  He did agree I need reconstructive surgery on my spine, but did not think it needed to be as extreme as my first surgical consult did.  He knew exactly what I needed and has done it many, many times before.  He didn't give me a grim future, but cast a vision of hope and help that seems manageable - not extreme.  I am still considered 'high risk', but for some reason this time we all have peace about it. 

My surgery is scheduled for May 20th.  I will be in the hospital for 5-7 days post op, and will be recovering home for several months.  I will not be able to drive, lift or do simple tasks around the house for months (God help us all :) I may need a second surgery, but it will be smaller and not as difficult, but we will not know about the second until the first has happened.  When the 6-12 months are over I will be straight, strong, and looking forward to many years ahead of mobility and activity that I crave!!!  YAY!!!

So here is the update I have promised.  Thank you for your prayer thus far.....and please consider prayng for our family in the days ahead.  It is a season full of challenges, but most importantly of hope. 

“A voice of one calling in the desert,
‘Prepare the way for the Lord,
make straight paths for him.
Every valley shall be filled in,
every mountain and hill made low.
The crooked roads shall become straight,
the rough ways smooth.

 And all mankind will see God’s salvation.’

Luke 3:4-5 and Isaiah 40:3-5

The smell of wet cat.....

I woke up with the best intentions of accomplishing much today.  I made a cup of coffee and warmed up a piece of Apple pie for breakfast.  Of course the kids decided to sleep in, so I started researching how to publish onto a kindle, I payed a few bills, then the kids started getting up and eating when I realized it was inching closer to time for lunch and naps.  I decided to let them all play outside for a bit, I mean why start now? We went out on the deck to pretend to play the guitar and found a super cool praying mantis in the gazebo! We stopped and stared at it for a while......

David asked if he could pick some veggies from the garden and then as we were relaxing in the sunlight soaking up vitamin D our neighbors cat jumped the fence and started harassing our dog.  It was pretty scary at first and I wasn't sure if one of our pets were going to get hurt, but it quickly fled over the fence.  We all started to settle down a bit when it stalked our dog and jumped over the fence AGAIN!  

Next thing you know my kids started working together developing a plan to stalk it back and spray it with the hose.  The lonely cat loved the attention in this game (she comes running when she hears our kids playing).  She kept darting through the woods and jumping out to be sprayed by the kids.  I am a sucker for teamwork so I let them go.  This all went on until our dog was tired of barking and the kids and cat were thoroughly soaked.  Now it really is nap time, time to regain control, assemble the troops and get to work!  

 

In all the chaos and mess we make memories and my kids get to be kids.  We will get everything accomplished during nap time and will call today a success, eventually. 

I do love days like today when we stop and smell the roses (today they smell like wet cat :)

waiting....

I have a new friend I have been praying for the softening of her heart towards the Lord.  I was praying the words for her that she cannot yet pray herself.  As I was praying a picture flashed in my mind of children in an orphanage in Ethiopia.  This meant a lot to me considering  I have another friend in Florida who has been in process of adopting their baby (one week younger than our twins) from there.  They went and met him, Baby T is all they are allowed to share for now, and now they sit waiting for that phone call saying they can come back and get their child.  They heard about him at 7 months and now for the past 14 months they have been in agonizing wait for their child to come home with them. As I reflected on what my prayer for an unbeliever would have to do with my friend adopting from Ethiopia it became clear to me.  God longs for us to come to Him the same way.  He patiently waits and desires nothing less than to wrap us in His loving arms and say welcome home, child.  I missed you!

The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness.  He is patient with you not wanting anyone to perish, but wanting everyone to come to repentance.  2 Peter 3:9

Determining your Worth....

Value...what do you value?  What are your valuables?  Do you have certain 'values' you live by. Maybe you value a sense of community, your children, home, or relationships.  Value as defined by dictionary.com is this:

VALUE (noun)-
1.relative worth, merit, or importance.

2. monetary or material worth, as in commerce or trade.

3. the worth of something in terms of the amount of other things it can be exchanged for.

4. estimated or assigned worth.

I was meditating on this concept yesterday.  Thoughts of times I have tried to assign my own value or worth as well of times I have allowed others to define my sense of value came springing to my mind.  How easily we can go from being confident and feeling valuable to a feeling of worthlessness by hearing a harsh or critical word.  Everyone has some desire to feel valuable.  No one wants to be alone or unimportant.  On some level we all desire to feel needed, smart, or like our lives have made some difference in the world around us.  This deep rooted drive to have value assigned to us can make us needy people-pleasers as we seek our value from human relationships.  We can also be on the other side of the spectrum in a flash assigning a value or worth on another person, fetus, drug addict......you see where this is going. 

I have heard countless times the saying, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder."  Value is the same way.  Just look on an EBAY auction and watch people try to assign worth to something.  The seller wants to get all they can, the buyer wants to get it for the least possible.  They are at odds with each other, both sides looking at it from their vantage point.  I do not think people can be unbiased judges of worth.  We need an outside perspective and who better than the One who created you in the first place?

Worth or value of a soul is not determined by a person, unless that person is Christ.  Defining value with our definition above and through the eyes of God gives you the relative worth of your life, merit or importance, assigned worth of your soul in terms of an amount exchanged for you....you were so valuable to God that He sent His only Son to die for you and pay the ultimate price, the maximum amount- all of it -to restore you to Him.  That makes you very valuable, a person created with much worth and importance to the Creator of the Universe.  

The world tries to devalue life, get you to devalue yourself, or take what is valuable in God's sight and make it depreciate.  We cannot not afford to believe the lies. 

A person's value is not determined on another person's appraisal. 

A person's value is determined by the price Jesus was willing to pay....

and He paid it ALL for YOU!!!! 

John 3:16,  “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."

1 John 3:16, "This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers."

Deuteronomy 6:7, "For you are a people holy to the LORD your God. The LORD your God has chosen you out of all the peoples on the face of the earth to be his people, his treasured possession."

Matthew 6:21, "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

1 Peter 3:3-4, "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes.  Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight."

 Amos 4:13, "He who forms the mountains, creates the wind, and reveals his thoughts to man, he who turns dawn to darkness, and treads the high places of the earth— the LORD God Almighty is his name."

Psalm 139:13-18a, "For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.  
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,  I know that full well.
 My frame was not hidden from youwhen I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

 How precious to O God!  How vast is the sum of them!

 Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand."

How to Shine like a STAR....

Homeschooling provides us with so many teachable moments.  I think that is what I love most about it.  I often ask God what virtue, trait or concept I should focus on or teach the children.  I try to stay sensitive to what is going on in our home and I diligently look for opportunities to reinforce important truths to them. God has never failed to amaze me.   Today we are learning about how to stay pure and shine for the Lord. 

I found a great free website for printing out handwriting pages:  http://www.handwritingworksheets.com/flash/printdots/paragraph/ .  You can put in your text and it will print out a custom handwriting sheet. This made it possible for my youngest writer to be able to write out the Bible verse we were focusing on with ease. 

We studied Philippians 2:14-15, "Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe."  

I had each of them write out the Bible verse and as they did I explained to them just what exactly that means. 

- We talked about how it is important to do EVERYTHING without complaining!  Boy is that a lesson we can all take to heart.  I think it is more accurate to say we do everything WITH complaining lately!!!

- Without arguing!!!!  The kids were challenged with this one as soon as they climbed out of bed and their feet hit the floor.  I think this is a biggy, especially for those of us who are together 24/7!

-We talked about the importance of not complaining or arguing and how that helps us to lead blameless and pure lives. 

-Then we discussed how there are people in the world that do not believe, acknowledge or live their lives according to God's laws.  They are crooked and depraved.  I explained to them how we can stray or get lost if we are crooked and that God desires for us to keep our eyes on Him to stay on the straight path.

-I printed out this picture for them and had them color it in.  (http://www.thecoloringbarn.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/star-1.jpg) .  When they were finished we talked about things that make us shine like stars....praying, sharing, helping, serving, forgiving, etc., and as we said each thing we added some glitter glue to the main star.  I told them that everyone has the ability to shine and we added some glitter glue to the top stars representing others in the world. 

-Then we talked about sin and how it gets us dirty.  I had a small cup of potting soil ready and we talked about things that would get us 'dirty' or cause us to not be pure and blameless.  Much to their horror I sprinkled a little bit of dirt on to one of the sections of the wet glitter glue on their star.  They were pretty upset that their picture now had a little dirt on it.  Shelby even tried to cover her dirt up with more glitter, but you could still see it.  This gave me the opportunity to share with them that we can try to cover up our sin, but it is still visible to God.

-Next we talked about what Jesus came to do.  I had them each bring me a baby wipe and we wiped off the dirt just as Jesus wipes away our sin when we ask Him for forgiveness.  It was a powerful moment.  Then we added more glitter glue in that spot so that it could be restored and shine again for the Lord!

-Finally we talked about how everyone has sin, everyone of us.  We added some dirt to the other stars to remember that.  They asked me how to help get those stars clean and I shared with them that they will need someone to tell them what Jesus did for them, too.  They each picked a star to 'tell' about Jesus and we then we wiped them clean and added more glitter to represent a new life choosing to shine for the Lord. 

It was such a powerful lesson.  I am so thankful to the God of Heaven who looks upon us and meets us right where we are to show us the way to shine like stars in the universe.  The kids got it.  They understood on a whole deeper level the power sin has to make us unclean and that only by the power of the blood of Jesus we can be pure again. 

Now, I would be lying if I said my children were perfect little angels the rest of the day!  I wish!  But, I will say that the only correction I have had to give today is, "Be careful and STAY CLEAN!!!!"

If it isn't IMMEDIATE....then, it isn't OBEDIENT!

Have you ever asked a child to do something, once, then twice, three times.....? Have you ever said, "How many times do I have to tell you to........?"  They say kids learn by repetition.  Okay, I get it.  We have to keep repeating the lesson of where your shoes go when you take them off and why you don't leave the sink running after you wash your hands.  But, how about when you ask them to do something and the flat out say, "NO!!!".  It happens. 

It has happened a lot in our house lately.  I fear the kids are testing the boundaries again.  I have noticed it isn't just my kids, but all kids.  Recently a friend come to pick up her child who refused to get into the car.  I experienced a blank stare last night with our oldest after her Daddy asked her to please go read a book to her sibling.  This morning one of the clan told me he would not help take laundry downstairs (unless I paid him in jellybeans!)  When I just pulled into the driveway a few minutes ago 2 of my darling children refused to put their seat belt back on for the last 200yds.   So.....I stopped the car and made them get up and walk to the house!  What in the world is going on??????? 

How can we explain to our children (without screaming or spanking them) that they should listen? Here is what I am focusing on today with mine, and I pray it helps you too!

"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right." Ephesians 6:1

as defined in the original Greek:
to Obey: to listen, to harken to a command, be obedient to, submit to. 
Obedience means: compliance, submission; obedience rendered to any one's counsels, an obedience shown in observing the requirements of Christianity.

Romans 1:5, Through him and for his name’s sake, we received grace and apostleship to call people from among all the Gentiles to the obedience that comes from faith.

Romans 5:19, For just as through the disobedience of the one man the many were made sinners, so also through the obedience of the one man the many will be made righteous.

John 15:10, If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father’s commands and remain in his love.

How to abide or remain in Christ’s love: obedience. Obedience and love go hand in hand. Christ has provided us the perfect example of both. 

“If you love me, you will obey what I command. " John 14:15

So here are a few truths I am sharing with our children in teaching them the concepts of obedience:
1. When you don't respond the first time you are already in disobedience.
2. When you respond, "NO", you miss the opportunity to obey all together.
3. When you do obey you get the chance to show God that you love Him.
4. When you do obey you show the person you listen to that you respect them.
5. When you do not obey you are responsible for the negative consequences that follow. 
6. It is impossible to disobey your parents and obey God at the same time.
7. To stay walking in step with the Lord requires your obedience.

That precious bundle that told me NO this morning.....well, he sat on the couch until he was ready to listen.  It took 45 minutes.  Then he said, "Okay Mom, I will do it without the jellybeans!"  I explained to him that he missed the opportunity to obey, because now the laundry had all been taken downstairs by his sisters.  I told him that he missed a chance to listen to me and to show God that he loved Him.  He started to cry and told me he was really sorry.  I forgave him, gave him a hug, and told him there would be more opportunities to listen and love God today.  Hopefully next time he will not miss it, but jump at a chance to show his faith by acting the first time.